I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Did you pee in the oven last night??
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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