sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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