Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
