My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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