If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
