i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
