"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
