You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize