And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Also, beer. Big fan.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My bed smells like the plague
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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