Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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