Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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