look no pants
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Even my vagina gasped.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
