i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Randomize
