I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
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