did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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