Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
