im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
