I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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