Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
