my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
