IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
