Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
