we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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