its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
