apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
They took my balls.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
