we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
