my room smells like sperm. sweet.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
