two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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