i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
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