so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
