i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Randomize
