i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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