I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
