I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
