You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Randomize
