i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
