it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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