She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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