Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
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