are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
