So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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