dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
