it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.