That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
21 Times Karma Showed These People Not to Mess Around
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?