We need to rekindle our bromance
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.