some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.