What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy