I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
