Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Houston, we have a squirter
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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