dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Drunk is not a location!
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
