people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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