vagina is talking i cant
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I know her cup size but not her name....
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize