I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
