I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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