Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize