how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Is Oprah even human
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
