had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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