He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
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To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
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He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
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