Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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