Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I just found a bag of teeth...
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
